20.5.09
Two stories to tell
Yesterday:
I went grociery shopping with mom for the first time in months. Im bending down to get something from the bottum freezer and (without my knowing) three guys gathered around to check me out. Whislt digging through the freezer i find my favorite food (which can usually only be found in the southern part of the country, not the northern part where i live). So with a childish squeak I jump up and scream/squeak "MAMA (yes ma ma)! COME HERE!" and i waved her over. I THEN see the three guys, look at me like im a freak and then walk away laughing...-_-'
Today: We were discussing abortion in Goverment. Then we came to "well what if she was raped" part. This kid (who every day finds a new way to annoy me) next to me says "She should keep it"
Me: Why?
Him: Well if she is dumb enough to get rapped she have to keep the kid.
Me: *pissed* So your saying its the GIRLS fault for being rapped?
Him: Well Duh, its not anyone else's. (same kid btw, who laughed when we watch a vid about a girl being sexually harrassed by her boss. Her boss illegaly stripped searched her, then made her jump around and then made her give him oral. He said this also was HER FAULT. The girl was a tiny petite girl, her boss very big and muscular). I wanted to jump on and start strangling him, or at least punch him. So did my friend (who has been rapped) once i told her why i was so
pissed off. (see only my part of the room heard his statements)
It REALY pisses me off when people use the word "rape" so lightly/loosly/jokingly.
Examples (FROM JUST TODAY AT SCHOOL!): Girl was being tickled by her bf and she shouts "help rape rape!" while laughing. This happened a couple times with diff people.
guys at lunch playing halo and i guess one of then double crossed the other "DUUDE! You totally raped me!"
Since when is "rape" the new replacement word? When did it get a second (or multiple) new meanings?
Vibes* 10:28
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13.5.09
Mom is threatening to leave again. Normally I wouldnt even think twice about it, no matter how hurt she sounds or the amount of tears on the floor. But last time she even went as far as renting a place and packing....So this time she may even take the boxes to with her and stay for a few nights. Then next time move out for sure (or maybe she wont come back from this time).
She has never gone so far as to rent and pack. Its usually just threatening or packing an over night bag and staying at a friends for a day or a few.
I dont know where to place her latest claim. Im trying to stay calm, its working. But I still cant help but feel my heart start to work itself up.
I wounder what will happen.....
Personally Ive been rooting for this. Last time I was so excited for her. Sure the 2 year old would be put on me (a 16 year old) and my life would be put on hold to take care of him and the house. But at least mom would be able to get away. At least she could finally be free of HIM.
Best of luck mom.
Vibes* 20:34
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29.4.09
SO today this guy was talking to me and says "you know if it wasn't for your attitude i would date you."
Me: really? whats wrong with my attitude?
Him: You get so angry so easily. Its annoying. You have no patience
Me: I only have no patience for you, thats why i get so angry at YOU so easily.
Him: (completely ignoring what i said) But thats ok, your fixable
me: "Fixable'? Nonono you cant 'fix' me. theres nothing broken. The real problem is you. You annoy me soo easily which makes my patience for you run thin, thus explaining why I become so angry with u so easily.
Besides, who says I even want to go out with this guy? The only thing attractive about him is his guns (lol like the weapon....lol but im totally against gun violence...i know, weird....not to mention i wanna be an fbi agenct or at least a police officer...:P)
Vibes* 20:47
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So today I was talking with my friends when I get a tickling feeling on my arm. I looked over to see a huge spider crawling around on my arm. I freaked out and shook my arm until if fell onto the ground. Then I repeatedly stopmed vigorously on the spider for a minute or two shouting "KILL IT KILL IT! DIE DIE DIE! The whole time. When I stopped I shook the chill out of my body and my friend looks over at me and says 'Arent you an animal rights activist?"
(sorry about my mind blanking for the past few days...Slowly my memory is comming back and I'll be posting what i remember)
Vibes* 12:11
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23.4.09
Ready for a long post? Ill try to make it short...
Past two days in a nutshell:
Two days ago i was sent to the office for beating this guy with a chair.....But he deserved it, he grabbed my boob. (plus he was REALLY PISSING ME OFF that day).
Yesterday I go a stalker....eto he confessed his love for me a few months ago, i rejected him and he went back to his psycho on and off girlfriend. He also said he no longer wished to speak to me...well yesterday he sent me over 100 txt messages (within 8 hours) claiming he couldn't get me out of his thoughts or dreams. Hes still "loves" his gf but the spark is dying and he really wants me.
Well i told him how unfair he was being to his gf. Especially since he was not only hiding that he liked me from her but that he was talking to me and wanting to hang out. (then again the psycho gf doesn't let him talk to any one of the female sex).
I tried to get him to see how he was (kinda) cheating on her (since he was complaining how everyone hes ever been in love with either doesn't love him back or cheats on him). I did this by telling him my deffinition of cheating:
Of course kissing, sex, and all that physical crap. But also when you hide or don't want your gf/bf to know your hanging out or talking to someone, and/or if you would rather talk or hang out with that person other then your gf/bf. Because relationships ARNT just physical
Today: nothing really....Well i got an invite for a NAmiss pagent audition (national miss America), but they send those out to just about everyone right? right. Besides i laugh at modeling...the only reason the thought even crossed my mind was...well because a few weeks ago i had a dream. I won a modeling competition and got to go to California, and in California I met the guy i was in love with in L.A.....
And the competition is in hollywood. 6.6 miles from La, from where my dream took place...Slightly spooky? or just a coincident my mind made up with information i dont even recall hearing?
Not only that, but even if i just make it past first calls there are ALOT of scholarships....I REALLY need the money for college....Gah...why am I trying to talk myself into sometihng I cant see myself doing and be able to take myself seriously??
Vibes* 16:44
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17.4.09
So Im walking to my car today and I hear a moan. Then another, and another. I stop and look around, where the hell are these comming from? Is someone just messing with me? [Now the moans are mixed with gasps for air] I mean really, who the hell would have sex in the school parking lot? [The moans start to get louder (its a girl)] Espesially with the cops patrolling....
And then I see it. A hand flings itself at the insdie of a car window, trying to grab it. A head going up and down in rythm with the moans.
So why am I the one embarrssed? They didnt see me seeing them, and I didnt see WHO it was....and yet I feel my face get hot.
I understand that some people want 'excitment'...
but in a highschool parking lot? Really?
Vibes* 10:50
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15.4.09
Five hours staring at a computer screen, but I guess 5 more minutes wont kill me. So my Nutrition paper is going well. A few more pages and a power point left to do and its done! WOO cant wait!
I used myself as a test subject (along with dozens of other examples of studies alreadey done). So of course mom has some problems with it. (shes a surgical nurse, so OF COURSE she knows everything about NUTRITION -_-).
"What? Your not drinking milk now too! your gonna get sick! Why havnt you been taken them vitamins i got you!"
"Cause they would ruin the experiment mom! Besides look at me, Im fine! besides milk is bad for you!"
We then continued to .."discuss" how milk is good/bad for your health. She went with what comercials and the food pyramid have brain washed into her and I went with my hours of research. But of course shes right, shes the adult. Im just a dumb teenager who "thinks she knows everything about everything" after all.
Vibes* 16:17
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Spread the skull!
